35 Greatest Dad Jokes Of All Time

Dad jokes: they’re corny, predictable, and often met with groans—but deep down, we all secretly love them. Whether it’s a classic pun or a groan-worthy one-liner, dad jokes have a timeless charm. So, brace yourself for eye rolls, chuckles, and maybe even a few laughs as we go through 35 of the best dad jokes ever!

1-10: The Classics

  1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
    Because they don’t have the guts.

  2. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
    Because he was outstanding in his field.

  3. How do you organize a space party?
    You planet.

  4. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
    It was two-tired.

  5. What do you call fake spaghetti?
    An impasta.

  6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
    She gave me a hug.

  7. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
    Because they might crack up.

  8. What do you call a factory that makes good products?
    A satisfactory.

  9. I ordered a chicken and an egg online.
    I’ll let you know which comes first.

  10. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
    He made a mint!

11-20: The “Dad-Level” Genius Ones

  1. I used to play piano by ear…
    But now I use my hands.

  2. I asked my dog what’s two minus two.
    He said nothing.

  3. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    Nacho cheese.

  4. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
    In case he got a hole in one.

  5. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
    It’s okay—he woke up.

  6. Why don’t crabs give to charity?
    Because they’re shellfish.

  7. What does a nosy pepper do?
    Gets jalapeño business.

  8. Why did the math book look sad?
    Because it had too many problems.

  9. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
    It had a virus.

  10. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
    A carrot.

21-30: The Pun Masters Collection

  1. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
    Sofishticated.

  2. Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
    Because some relationships don’t work out.

  3. Parallel lines have so much in common.
    It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

  4. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
    I don’t know Y.

  5. What do you call someone who steals energy?
    A joule thief.

  6. I told my suitcase that there will be no vacations this year.
    Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.

  7. What do you call a sleeping T-Rex?
    A dino-snore.

  8. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…
    But then I turned myself around.

  9. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
    Sneakers.

  10. How does the ocean say hi?
    It waves.

31-35: The Ultimate Dad Joke Tier

  1. What did one wall say to the other wall?
    I’ll meet you at the corner.

  2. Why don’t elevators trust each other?
    Because they’re always up to something.

  3. I don’t trust stairs.
    They’re always leading you up to something.

  4. What’s brown and sticky?
    A stick.

  5. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
    Great food, no atmosphere.

Dad jokes are the perfect mix of terrible and hilarious, making them a staple in family conversations. Which one was your favorite? Or do you have a dad joke that beats them all? Drop it in the comments—after all, laughter is the best (dad-approved) medicine!